Qianhui's

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

No more counting. 43days.

To be exact, shld be 4__ days.

I noe i shldnt gt emo at tis pt of time coz there's reali alot of things for mi to do/study. Bt tis is sumthing which i couldnt control, i dun feel gd too, my heart fell apart to a point of no return.

Everytime i thought of you & her still have a long way to go and a future where u both work hard & look forward to it, the things u said or do to her, i reali feel like giving up. And everytime i said to wl or eve that i wan to give up actually i noe im still holding on. For wt, i dunno. Maybe i still carry some hope which i noe that hope doesnt exist. Sometimes, i reali hope that you would care more about mi, i mean as a fren, bt a simple caring msg juz wont reach my phone.At times, We do have a chance to sms bt you noe... yr reply are like v.short,you simply reply wt is being asked. Then i would start to wonder, shld i continue to msg or to end it. I enjoyed playin sms wif you though your reply are short, i tink as long as you dun ignore, im reali fine wif it. At the same time,i also dun mind ending the sms if you wan to. The last sms-es that i feel appreciated was on feb and that was a wonderful wan. I reali miss the times where you were sms-ing while slpin,i find it sweet & i told u before.Till juz nw, i still hope that the day would come. Everytime when i online, i hope that you would find mi for a chat, i will juz keep waiting, waiting, waiting until i offline. I dun like the idea of initiating a chat first, im afraid to feel of the feelin of being ignore by you.

I remembered you tellin mi, i still feel for you is coz i keep thinking abt the past.

Do you know tt, i have stopped thinking abt the past for quite sometime le. How do you explain this?

There are alot of things which i want to do wif you, too bad, fate was not given enough.

I remembered 2 years back, those nick that you put for mi,

- 不要放弃因为有一天缘分会继续 - you had given up.

- 如果說分手是苦痛的起點 ,那在終點之前我願意再愛一遍

- Loving someone never before & never again

- 谁还记得是谁先说永远的爱我

So far, i can onli remember this 4.

There is something which i wan to say, dun said that maybe you will suffer coz frm wt i noe, ur not.

Im fully aware that i shldnt say this, you dont wan to break ppl hearts, dun wan ppl to sad. Then i wont sad la.

But who am i to talk about fairness, i left him first.

No one can make mi tear in the bus while listening songs,

No one can make mi stay up late juz to online,

No one can make mi sudd feel emo when im happily playing outside,

No one can make mi tink that whenever a sms strike on my phone, is him,

No one can make mi feel that there is alot of places that i would wan to go wif him,

No one can make mi gng crazy and called wl up juz to ask WHY,

No one can make mi cry in the middle of the nite juz because i miss him,

No one can make my mind occupied for 24 hrs with his image,

No one can make mi tell my friends hw muz i love him,

No one can make my day juz by sendin a sms or a chat in msn,

No one can make mi staring in space juz because i dunno what i shld do next,

No one can make my friends to keep askin mi, ''are you okay'', ''are you better'',

No one can make mi feel like star gazing,

No one, No one except him.

It's time, tis is my last straw, i reali reali cant hold on anymore and i reali reali reali reali will try my best to let go. I try, i try and im trying. I hope tis post doesnt stress you or offended you. Maybe you dont even read nw. I dunno.

I shall go and sleep, sch tml at 9am, the time is 2.06am. Gosh & my eyes hurts too.

Thanks for everything be it fren or.

You said forever and always, you didnt mean it baby.

P/s: To all my friends, tt boy didnt do mi wrong, dun be mistaken ah.

12:09 AM I have blogged my feeling @